This is why you're single: Dazed and Confused

It's been a while. Here's a few tiny, tasty tidbits to tide you over.

Slave wanted - 22 (Green street)

I am looking for a part time slave who may potentially become full time. I am also willing to hire. Reply with "Oral slave" as the subject
Let's just call this guy confused on the subject of slavery. I think the word he's looking for would be "prostitute."

Student wanted - 20 (Green street)

Helloo !
I am a rich student of Indian origin at the U of I, 5"8 and 140. I just broke up with my girl friend, and I was looking to find a hot girl (preferably a student at the U of I, definately under 28) to make my last semester fun. I am a nice, intelligent guy, perfectly capable of having a normal conversation.
I am in looking for someone who I can spoil with gifts and luxuries and someone who can entertain me come out with friends at night etc. I am in effect looking for a talkitive bimbo to go along with my shy intelligent personailty. I am not into any hard drugs although 420 is a hobby, and neither should you.
Please no fatties (I am perfectly proportional,) or excessively tatooed chicks. You must be UNDER 5"9 and UNDER 140 pounds.
Reply with two different pictures attached with "Girl" as the subject.
So...he's gonna bring a scale to the meetup? Or...is that the maximum size of what will fit in his trunk. Hmmmm....

i do exist. dwm. - 41 (urbana)

im just me im 41 will be 42 next mounth . I have not been happy in a long time. I live alone in my own 2 bedroom house.Im looking for a nice single girl with no kids between the ages of 22-45 with no kids.I like to go out alot .i smoke and drink .I think im a nice guy but Im to shy to meet somewone.Im not perfect I know but I try.I am about 5' 3'' and 199 lbs white male.I got alot of freinds and alot of hobbys i love ridding ATVS, when i have time.Going campingI have the love of my life my dog he is a awsome rat terior..ECT.im shy i will share picts. when you talk to me ....
He REALLY doesn't any crotch fruit. Which is probably for the best since this guy cannot spell at *all.* Homework time would be hell.

Kind, fun local couple needs to find a responsible surrogate (Urbana)

Hello! We're a couple in Urbana who needs to find a kind, sweet, easy-going yet responsible younger woman for a gestational surrogate. Please understand up front we are not rich, and not able to pay a fee greater than $7000 at this time. We need you to have your own health insurance. We are a fun, funny, caring, well-educated couple with one young daughter. We do not wish her to be an only child. If you're still reading this, and think you can help us, or know of anyone who might, please let us know, tell us a little about yourself and, if you feel comfortable, please send a photo as well. Thank you so much, we hope to hear from you soon!
I'm not sure what would make *anyone* think they could find a "responsible surrogate" in the Men Seeking Women personal ads on Craigslist. Unless, like the first entry, surrogate really means prostitute.


Anonymous said...

Now I know I'm old and out of touch.

What does "420 is a hobby" mean?

Narc said...

It means he's a dope.

ellis said...

I know *I'm* old and out of touch, but what is crotch fruit?


ellis said...

I know *I'm* old and out of touch, but what is crotch fruit?