I've been busy lately and I've neglected my poor little bloggie.

Here's a tasty tidbit I found via a local messageboard that has been unusually obsessed with "muffins" lately....

Also: click here. gnightgirl took a pic of me and the nephew at the Taste last weekend. It's up on the Flickr page with all the other Taste Toys for Troops photos. The facepaint in many of the pictures comes from the National Guard tent that wasn't far from gnightgirl's tent. They did camo face painting and had MREs for people to try.



First, there was this little gem that moon_grrl posted.

Now, Margaret Cho has made a "remix," if you will.

Zapatos - chooz remix

Cho will be a guest host on The View Monday morning.

Out of the pan and into the fire....


I know I say this a lot, but...

...go ahead and file this under the "funnier if it happened less" category.

So...I went on vacation. I met some friends in Florida. I flew from Indy to West Palm Beach with a layover in Charlotte. The way down was uneventful even if there was a lot of turbulence when landing and taking off in Charlotte. Don't know if it was because there were mountains nearby or what.

Anyway, scroll down for the cellphone pics from my trips. I have more pictures coming, but I'm still awaiting them in my email.

So, yes, it's fantastic that I could *take* a vacation, that I spent time with friends, and that I made it back in one piece without killing someone on my final travel day---which was Monday.

So...I check the weather channel before leaving for the airport to see how the weather would be at my multiple destinations that day. West Palm and Indy---clear and nice. Charlotte---not so much. They had storms moving through that morning.


So...we head to the airport and hop on my flight home---thinking I can't wait til I retire someday. Blah, blah, blah...you know...end of vacation blues or whatever. Wouldn't it be nice to be on vacation everyday, yadda yadda yadda.

Then we land in Charlotte. Which was crazy-ass turbulent again. Ugh. After time on the ocean and on a boat, I needed no more herky-jerky at this point. Course, it's raining when we land. And the pilot announces that since it's been raining for hours and there are a lot of planes still at the airport, we have to wait for a gate to open up so we can get off our plane. Looking out the windows of the plane, I see about five planes on either side of us...sitting.

Forty minutes later, we are pulling up to a gate and happily rushing through to the airport terminal...only to discover hundreds of people everywhere. The food court, the piano bar in the atrium, the interesting little rocking chairs along a bay of windows, the seats at the gates, along the walls in the airport, there are people everywhere. Apparently, they let people land, but no one was taking off, so more and more people arrived and then had no where to go.

Flights are being delayed and cancelled. Trash cans are overflowing. I go outside to chain smoke several cigarettes. Guess what---more people. I waited in line for 30 minutes and made it through security so I could pay $10 for a Burger King meal.

Our flight boarded on time and I was thankful. We were told to turn off our cell phones and electronic devices...and then sat at the gate for another 40 minutes while people trickled on the plane---I picked up from eavesdropping that several were from cancelled flights earlier in the day.

We finally take off from Charlotte---bumpy again...ugh...and we fly to Indy. When we get to Indy, we come down, as if to land, and then go back up into the air. I can see downtown Indy out of my window and I'm thinking "who the hell fucked up now?" just as the captain comes on:

Uh, folks, we're gonna go ahead and prepare you for an emergency landing. See, what's happened is, when you drop the landing gear, three green lights are supposed to go on in cockpit and we only have two green lights. In addition, there are three red lights that go on if there is a problem detected with the landing gear. None of those red lights went on. But the lights on the landing gear didn't come on either, so we think we have a bad circuit somewhere. We did a fly-by to see if the tower could see if our landing gear was down, but they are unable to see it. We are going to try one more fly-by.


After the second and final fly-by, the captain comes on and says we're gonna go ahead and prepare for the emergency landing. Take off your glasses. Tighten your seat belt. Shove everything in your carry-on and put all bags on the floor under the seat in front of you. Cross your arms, place them on the seat back in front of you, and place your head on your arms. Small children were instructed to put there head between their knees---I shit you not.

So...we come down and land...and we're good. Everyone applauds. The pilot comes on to tell us we're okay, but we're going to wait for a maintenance guy to come on the runway and put a pin in the landing gear---just in case. We wait another 40 minutes for the pin and then make it to the gate.

By the time we get to the airport, everything is closed down and gated up and there's barely anyone except the people from our flight. I get my luggage within a few minutes and I rush out the bus stop to wait for the Economy lot bus to pick me up. There are three lots at Indy---Economy, Tiger, and Business Premier. I, of course, smartly parked in the Economy lot---the furthest lot from the airport.

Three Tiger buses and three Business Premier buses go by before we see the first Economy bus---and it blows by us without stopping because it's full.

So...40 minutes later (Are you sensing a temporal constant here?) an Economy bus comes by...and is bum-rushed by everyone waiting for the first Economy bus that has stopped for us. Me and four other people---all about my age---didn't make it on the crowded bus. As they begin to pull away, we ask how long before another bus will come by. At this point, we are all wondering if simply walking to the lot would be quicker and get us all home faster.

We were told "When it gets here."

I see.

One guy got a little upset with the vague and brusque response and decided to let the driver know that this was the last bunch to be cavalier with, and the bus driver took off. I'll admit it---I joined in the chorus of curses as the bus sped away.

Thankfully, a Business Premier driver offered to drop us off outside the Economy lot. Yah!

On our bus trip to the parking lot gate, we all commiserated and made jokes about the shittiest of shitty day we were *all* having. And when I got off the bus, I realized I had parked at the farthest part of the lot.


I rolled my suitcase all the way to my car. I was never so happy in all my life. I peeled my contacts off my eyeballs and put on my glasses, stopped at the gas station outside the Economy lot and made a pit stop and picked up the biggest, coldest bottle of water I could find, and *finally* headed home.


I was never so happy to be able to control my "destiny," if you will. To be able to be alone after being with strangers for basically 12 hours was a relief.

As I drove home the familiar route from Indy to Champaign, I was so happy to be on my way home. How weird, that earlier in the day, I had regrets about heading home because I wanted my vacation to last longer. By midnight, all I wanted was for my vacation to be over and to be tucked away in my shell...or house...whatever.

Now, this is how my luck always runs. I am an optimistic person, but I'm always prepared for the Murphy's Law that inevitably arises to fuck my shit up.

I can't say that my bad luck is fatal or even really painful. It's just annoying as fuck and trust me, you *will* hear about it again.

And I'll always begin it as I begin this post---because it *is* funny. I've laughed about all this since. As has pretty much everyone I've told this story to. Sorry if you are hearing it again, but sometimes, I just gotta get this crap off my chest because it's almost unbelievable how bizarrely bad my luck truly is.




I'm going on vacation. I'm going to *try* and take a bit of an electronic vacation as well.

I *may* post bizarre pictures to the blog over the next week...so be prepared for fuzzy pictures of whatever I find amusing.

You've been warned.