So, I just realized I haven't posted in over a week.

Bad blogger.

Anyway, I've got an idea to post more often in the future.

In the meantime, here you go....



The only thing that springs to mind when reading this is why.

Oh yah, and ewwwwwww....

I *love* the NCAA tournaments....

And I'm still doing okay with my bracket.

Anyone else care to admit how well their picks are going?

I picked Winthrop over Notre Dame, Va. Commonwealth over Duke (of course), Michigan St. over Marquette, and Xavier over BYU.

Unfortunately, I also picked Creighton over Nevada, Oral Roberts over Washington St., Ga. Tech over UNLV, and Illinois over Va. Tech. Plus, I lost Gonzaga and that was a Sweet 16 team for me. But otherwise, I think I'm in pretty good shape. I'm not even gonna go into the whole Illinois loss---I'm still in denial about that.

Wisconsin made me freak a *teensy* bit today, but I'm over it now. I was ready to chuck them in with Texas Tech, Duke, and Kansas---you know, *icky* teams.

But they have been redeemed---for now. And they best keep it up or I'm in trouble....

Publishing Explained via Exploding Aardvark

I'm gonna kill two birds with one stone on this post.

I was talking with moon_girl and leeanthro the other day and I referenced Exploding Aardvark's blog. Neither had read it or heard of it. Apparently this is what happens when you blog---instead of discussing what you read in the paper, you discuss what you read on different blogs.

Anyway, Exploding Aardvark had a link to a great website with "Book Publishing Terms."

I had to share a few that are near and dear to my heart---and many of yours, I'm sure....
BOOK DISTRIBUTION: An elaborate system testing the commitment of readers by making sure they cannot obtain specific books too easily.

COLLABORATION: A relationship in which one author exploits another.

FOREWORD: A blurb that is placed between the covers of the book to compensate for an unmarketable author.


PRINTER'S ERROR (PE): An error made before a book goes to print.

PUBLICATION DATE (PUB DATE): A sliding holiday based on the phases of the moon.

UNIVERSITY PRESS: A business predicated on obtaining materials from scholars without compensating them in order to sell the same materials at high prices to scholars.


Because it made me laugh out loud....

Courtesy of a friend....
I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist later in the week. Early one morning, I received a call from the doctor's office to tell me that I had been rescheduled for that morning at 9:30 am.

I had only just packed everyone off to work and school, and it was already around 8:45 am.The trip to his office took about 35 minutes, so I didn't have any time to spare.

As most women do, I like to take a little extra effort over hygiene when making such visits, but this time I wasn't going to be able to make the full effort.

So, I rushed upstairs, threw off my pajamas, wet the washcloth that was sitting next to the sink, and gave myself a quick wash in that area to make sure I was at least presentable. I threw the washcloth in the clothes basket, donned some clothes, hopped in the car and raced to my appointment.

I was in the waiting room for only a few minutes when I was called in. Knowing the procedure, as I'm sure you do, I hopped up on the table, looked over at the other side of the room and pretended that I was in Paris or some other place a million miles away.

I was a little surprised when the doctor said, "My, we have made an extra effort this morning, haven't we?" I didn't respond.

After the appointment, I heaved a sigh of relief and went home. The rest of the day was normal.... Some shopping, cleaning, cooking.

After school when my 6-year-old daughter was playing, she called out from the bathroom, "Mommy, where's my washcloth?"

I told her to get another one from the cupboard.

She replied, "No, I need the one that was here by the sink, it had all my glitter and sparkles saved inside it."

Never going back to that doctor again....


Cop sprays girl with pepper spray because he's an idiot

And *idiot* is the nicest term I can come up with....

I'm still scratching my head trying to figure out how this guy was "cleared of all wrongdoing." He basically *assaulted* her....

UPDATE: Apparently this occurred in 1998 and the cop was cleared of assault charges but was fired. He was reinstated later because the city was bound by an arbitrator's agreement.


It hurts just thinking about it....

Feministing has a post about the new trend in plastic surgery.

I shudder just thinking about it. I'm not sure these women are aware that your clitoris is the home to more nerve endings than the head of a man's penis. I can't *imagine* a man being willing to shave a little off the top for "appearances' sake."

What the hell is wrong with these women's body image? Don't they know that those Playboy photos are *digitally manipulated*---not surgically hacked? Don't they know that this is simply another form of genital mutiliation?

How about this? If your partner says he wants you to trim a little off the top, you say "You first."

Tasty tidbits: Let's play ketchup

Funniest shit I've read in a while---the complaint letters on Smoking Gun regarding the Super Bowl. One maroon even goes so far as to say this about her kid:
One of them has hoped to be a quarterback and now he will turn out gay.
I don't think the Super Bowl halftime show is the biggest problem in this kid's life....


In other news, a local woman apparently unaware that some people are trying to make *money* by running bars was the recipient of unwanted attention at a local bar. I hate to break it to her, but

a) When you advocate for an unpopular position, you have to expect some heat. And you know what they say about heat, if you can't stand it.... I've taken many an unpopular stand and if you don't have the stomach to face the opposition, you aren't a real great advocate.

b) When you go out to a local bar to listen to loud music, you kinda have to lean into someone in order to have a conversation. Perhaps this is another tidbit of bar life she was unaware of.

c) If you set foot one someone else's property, you don't really have a right to say you don't want your picture taken. If you come into my house, you are on my property, and if I want to take a picture of you and you don't like it, you kinda just have to leave or I'm just gonna laugh at you and take more pictures (I'm an asshole like that). More of that heat I was talking about.

d) Most bars have these signs in them that say "We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone for any reason." That's so you can throw out assholes and other troublemakers or other people that you don't want in your establishment. I don't see *anywhere* in her complaint that she was thrown out. Instead, I see where she felt "uncomfortable" and left on her own. Guess what? That *ain't* discrimination.

I get the feeling that many people who are unaware of how things work in drinking establishments are in for a rude awakening. Bars are places where people get drunk and act like asses. Bars are places where people get rowdy, invade personal space (if I had a nickel....), and are loud. Bars are *not* polite, tea party atmospheres. And if you can't hack it, save up your money and open a bar where you can have a quiet evening and sell soda. And be prepared to go out of business---fast.


I thought Unofficial was a blast---we got to see a K-9 unit search a car outside our building. Great fun....


And here's another funny story about a guy who is always at the city council meetings complaining that the cities are making it tough for him as a slum...I mean landlord. I find it ironic that he likes to blame his tenants for the damage to the property (I've had friends who rented from him---what a nightmare). That's kinda why you are supposed to *screen* your prospective tenants before renting to them. I worked in a leasing office before---we only had isolated problems with tenants because we did a little work upfront *prior* to renting the apartments. Perhaps this fellow should try that approach.


I can see the future.... I see a rise in glaucoma cases....


I'd feel a little sorrier for this kid if he hadn't assaulted a bunch of kids himself by spraying pepper spray in a middle school and sending some of them to the hospital. I don't mean to sound cold-hearted or anything, but if you can't do the time....


When did Illinois athletics become the thuggery we despised in other teams? Just wondering....


A friend of mine is quite concerned that the new sales tax proposal will put her husband's business *out* of business. IP has a post as does Capitol Fax. I'm no Blago fan *at all* and I'd only feel *marginally* better about this if he was using the money to pay off the state pension deficit, but of course, that isn't what this is about. Frankly, I think it's about his bizarre delusion that he could be presidential material. I got news for him---he's not even governor material....

And that's the end of my long list of tidbits I've had backed up for a while.


Soy is the new black

My good friend, better known in the blog world as Leeanthro, has started posting again to her blog, Soy Is The New Black. She's preggers and due in May and we'll be throwing her a shower next month, but she's really gotten into reading and posting on blogs and as we all know, the blogger bug bites hard. Just like moon_grrl, once you start reading and commenting, you want to start posting stuff of your own.

She's a vegetarian and really into organic foods. Her husband and adorable two-year-old are vegetarians as well. Right now, she's looking for stuff for her baby boy, Junior, due to arrive into this world in about two months. She's calling him Junior because they don't tell anyone what they are naming their kids until they arrive. I've suggested Thorbert, but I don't think they are going for it....

Today we were looking on Hot Topic's website for onesies and shoes and, since they are doing the baby's room in a pirate theme, she found the cutest onesie and shoes. I stopped by the store at the mall and they have both items *and* a bib that has the black strips with red print that says "Gabba Gabba Grub RAMONES." I think I have found a shower gift. This little cap isn't bad either.

So make sure you go check out her blog and encourage her to post more.

I'm alive!

And still in a house mood, but that's irrelevant.

I've been *crazy* busy lately.

First off, I started working for my friend Jimmy and his wife Christie. I've been:
  • bartending Tuesday and Wednesday nights at Radmaker's
  • working catering events on the weekends
  • making menus, buy-one-get-one-free coupons for both businesses
  • working on creating new logos for both businesses since all they have are jpgs
  • working on creating fliers and other miscellaneous print items
  • trying to get a website for Radmaker's up and going
Am I missing something? Oh yah, regular old stuff like laundry and whatnot. Seems like the whatnot keeps falling through the cracks....

But, last weekend, I got to have a little fun. I went to a wedding up in Wheaton with some friends. Sagefool and his wife Head Chica and me and another friend drove up on Saturday. A certain magician-friend of Sagefool's was also in attendance---and coincidentally, he brought a date that I already knew. His date was the mom of one of my nephew's preschool classmates. We caught up on her daughter and my nephew. But more importantly, we had an awesome time at the reception. Why might you ask? Two words:

Open Bar

Yes, that's right, Gamera (and just about everyone else in attendance) took *full* advantage of the free-flowing licquor that night. And as a result, here's the proof (yah, these photos were taken with a camera phone by a drunken photog, but hey, it's what I got)....

Here's is the groom, Nate, and some fuzzy guy behind him.

Here's the drunken photog, Sagefool.

The Magician and his date.

Gamera after: 2 beers, 2 glasses of wine, one shot of tequila, one vodka and cranberry, and several drinks the bartender dubbed "Bridesmaids." I don't know what they were, but I told him I like vodka and fruit and that's *exactly* what I got. Yummmmm....

Me and Head Chica and another friend danced our *asses* off all night.... See?

Yah...good times, good times....

As you can see, we had *no* problem dancing all night regardless of the fact that few others were dancing with us. Now that I think back on it, we danced a lot and a lot of guys just stood around and watched. If I hadn't been having so much fun I might have been skeeved out.

And, I'll be sure to make more time to post to the blog. I miss blogging.